Thursday, February 25, 2010

"Rules" for Women

*CAUTION* The following post contains humorous euphemisms for sexual relations. Sensitive readers should proceed at their Puritanical peril.

Rules for Women

This is "supposedly" an actual extract from a sex education textbook for girls printed in the early 60's in the UK. The language strikes me a comically British, but I watch Monty Python and Are You Being Served and Dr Who, but don't know any actual British people, so what do I know.

"When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him.

If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair products.

You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."

I searched to see if it was on the list of email hoaxes, and did not find it there. That doesn't mean it is true. But I thought it was funny in many ways.

Then when I got finished chuckling to myself, it made me kind of sad.

And then I realized that fostering attitudes like this in your culture would be a nice way to limit population without advocating birth control!

What do you think?


Anonymous said...

That's why I gave up curlers and face cream. I didn't want to shock him.

btw-my verification word is mantrup (almost "mantrap") what do you think? a typo?

Melita said...

haha this is great! hugs!!

Bryan L. Smith said...

Adjust your clothing? So wimmin back then didn't even bother taking their clothes off?